Things We Don't Say Wrap-Up (Chicago, IL)

❤️‍🩹 Post from @joelfrieders over at @hopsmash

This particular beer here means a whole lot to a whole lot of people in & around the craft industry, not just us Hopsmashholes. While the project was dreamt up by myself (Joel) & Nicole Henzel of Malteurop, the recipe was all Eagle Park in Wisconsin, & I quickly drafted my forever pals over at Egoproof, who did the label design for every can, pro f’ing bono. At last count, we had something like 200 breweries around the world sign on to brew a beer, talk about mental health & throw some funds at a MH nonprofit.

While the conversations that came from 'actively talking about our mental health with friends over a beer' were life-affirming, I won't lie & say this project had a happy ending.
Sometime around April/May (OK IT WAS APRIL 23, 2021), I had the privilege of receiving a text alerting me to public accusations pointed at someone outside of the project, but who was directly involved with the nonprofit I was working for as an independent contractor.

If anyone ever says some shit like "it won't hurt you if you didn't do anything wrong,” believe me when I tell you they're f’ing lying. In the weeks & months that followed I experienced some of the most extreme stress I have ever encountered & some fun new health problems I am still working to fix (i.e. resting heart rate over 115bpm for over 3 months, nauseous anxiety 24/7, inability to sleep longer than 15 mins at a time). I learned a lot about who I am as a person in those months, feeling like no matter what I did I couldn't escape the physical ramifications of being associated with gross shit.

I didn't know what a boundary between the personal & professional was, & I ultimately learned that just because you want someone to do the right thing, it doesn't mean they will. I lost a whole shitload of respect for people, an org, and began the process of putting myself & my family first, no matter how difficult. No more FOMO, no more paying dues.

Things We Don't Say includes things we don't WANT to say because they're f’ing true & it hurts to know that intentions don't mean shit when you almost die because of someone else's f’ing bullshit…

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